lördag 2 februari 2008

Are we living in a dreamworld?

It is time for me to once again take up the writing of my blog, but this time for an etierly different reason then previously. As you might have noticed I decided to write this is english because I need help with correcting and reciving some critisism on an essay I'm working on for class. This is only the first draft so it might be a bit messy or incoherent at times but telling me it sucks won't make me feel bad so I'd appriciate your opinions.

Are we living in a dreamworld?

People have always had a vivid imagination, books have been written and bedtime stories have been told to children but lately people have gotten so much spare time on their hands that if they want, they can sink so deep into their imagination that it becomes the place were they’d like to stay. Why is it that the need of dislocating yourself from reality has grown so strong that many people ignore their real lives just to find a place for their fantasies?

In Swedish society today two things have happened: firstly, people have gotten more and more spare time on their hands, there are more and more semester days during the year, work days are shorter and in schools more responsibility is left with the students for studies at home. Secondly, society today has much higher expectations of you, there is more personal responsibility in your everyday life in general then it has ever been before and you are expected to be smart and well educated if you want to get some were with your life.

Even though this might sound a bit contradictory this causes a lot of stress, not because free time in itself is stressing but the fact that increasing pressure and responsibility from society is put on you. For example, the problem with global warming is one of the issues that is put on every person, there is much you have to learn just about this single thing in order to do what’s expected you and the same goes for politics, pension savings etcetera and some years ago this pressure was nearly nonexistent. These things all help to put pressure on you during your spare time, so perhaps it’s not all that strange that people stop showing up in school or coming late for work due to the fact that they simply want some time to dislocate themselves from reality around them.

Fact is also that spare time causes boredom which most be dealt with, so therefore many new ways of doing this have been invented and many of which you can do from home on the internet for example making it even easier to ignore the world fully. Because this is what people do, when suddenly everything seems overwhelming many people tend to not do anything at all. This combined with the increase of pressure from society and ways to dislocate from reality is quickly starting a problematic trend that will soon have to be dealt with.

That was it, please take into consideration the following if you'd be so kind to help me out:

  • What's the most positive feature?
  • What is the strongest supporting argument?
  • What counterarguments or objections does the author (that's me) show awareness of?
  • What alternative causes does the author show awareness of?
  • What meterial, if any, is irrelevant to the casual analasys?
  • Were is the authors weakest argument?
  • Is every paragraph coherent?
  • Other suggestions/ideas/questions
I don't ask you to do a full reviev, but this is some of the things my teacher is going to look at, so please keep it in mind. Grammar, spelling, punctuation and such are of course also important.

Thanks on beforehand. ^_^

~Kuffu

3 kommentarer:

Sara sa...

Haha you shouldn't ask me for things like this. You know how I get :P

Yeonni sa...

I think I could be an editor. Actually, remembering how fun I think it is to correct people's texts, I really could. ^^

Okay, so about your text, I think... I'm just gonna call you instead. =P

And remove that stupid manydifferentcoloredletter-box or you will mysteriously be deaded!

Rik sa...

I sentcha an email, trying to use as many of the formal rules I learned in school as I could. I'm working on a lab report myself at the time, so it's not very thorough but it's something.

It's in your hotmail.